


I hate him too

by mendraxwrites



Series: Volleymonogatari [2]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, M/M, tho no one gets actually raped here
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-06
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-06 15:40:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,025
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6759889
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mendraxwrites/pseuds/mendraxwrites
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A drunk Suga and a horny, but ultimately confused, Oikawa spend the night together in a room. They mostly just talk. Mostly...</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi there! Just wanted to warn everybody that English isn't my first language (it's Spanish). I'm not bad at it, but I still make spelling or grammar errors every now and then. Hope you can overlook them. Though if things get really hard to understand, do tell me so and I'll see what I can do to fix it ;D

It’s cold outside but they don’t feel it. Sugawara, after six shots of “cute blue vodka”, is on that level of drunkenness where the body is numb. Oikawa, on the other hand, is horny and too focused on trying to get as much glimpses as he can of Suga’s left nipple (a task made easier by the black tank he’s wearing) to notice the cold. 

\- We just have to turn to the… - Sugawara says, clumsily pointing straight ahead.

\- Uhm… right? Left? – asks Oikawa.

\- Right! Right! We turn to the right. The Tatami Room will be there.

\- Tatami room? 

\- Yeah. It’s this really little room. Kiyoko’s family owns it but they don’t like… use it anymore, you know? So the team has taken it as their own sort of… I don’t know, haven? Do you think that’s the word?

\- I don’t know what you’re talking about.

\- Yeah, a haven. Some of us go there when we don’t wanna go back home right away. There can only be four people at a time. It’s really small… but I guess it’s cozy.

\- And… do you think someone might be there right now?

\- I don’t know. We’ll find out when we get there.

They turn to the right. Oikawa looks at the one level complex and wonders which one is the “oh, so famous” Tatami Room. In total, there are six of them, each one with the same doorframe and overall structure. Each one with a plant right next to the door. Sugawara walks to the one in the far left, pulls his zipper down and starts peeing. In his mind, he’s peeing into the plant’s pot. In reality, he’s pissing his pants.

\- Shiiiiit! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuuuuuck! – says Suga as he pulls his penis out. His gray skinny jeans are already wet but he knows there’s still a lot of pee left too.

\- Are you ok? – asks Oikawa, approaching from the behind.

\- I’ve wetted myself and it’s your fault.

\- How is that my fault?

\- Well, you’re so damn sexy! – Suga laughs to himself. He reaches into his back pocket, pulls a single key and hands it to Oikawa. The pee stream continues. – Go and check if it’s locked. There’s no light inside so I think that no one’s there.

Oikawa grabs the key. He walks to the door, resisting the temptation of taking a look at the boy’s penis.  
The door is locked. He uses the key to open it. A faint smell of enclosed space mixed with sweat and tobacco comes from the dark room. In that moment Oikawa wonders if he actually wants this. With Sugawara pissing his pants, he admits to himself that it is quite possible that Mr. Refreshing isn’t in the best place to make decisions. Is adding a third entry to the “Crows” list really worth the possibility of feeling like a rapist again?  
Well, yes, of course. Even the mere thought of actually being in a position where he could take advantage of another man makes his hands tremble in excitement. Though he knows, far too well, what is like to have a guilty conscious in such scenario, he has always been able to, in some degree, shake it off with the thought of it being nothing more than a small payment for those moments of total bliss when he disposed another guy of his notion of choice, replacing it with fear, despair or, in the best of cases, surrender. But then, why does he doubt himself? If he knows he can bare a guilty conscious, could it be that, deep down, he doesn’t feel like Sugawara is worth that much trouble?  
Seems unlikely. From the small number of times he has seen him; Oikawa has formed an image of Sugawara. He’s the gray haired boy with milky white skin that you usually see with a warm smile on his face. He’s not really noticeable in a crowd, but he’s also not invisible. There’s also a sort of tender sweetness in him, which emanates this vibe that tells you: this boy is excited for the next Disney film. In Oikawa’s taste, all of that would make Suga close to delicious. But…

\- What is it? Is there someone in there? Can you hear anything? Just turn on the light. The switch is right next to the door. – says Sugawara, stumbling towards Oikawa, who remains standing still at the door. – Seriously? Ok, ok, I’ll do it.

Without reaching a conclusion about the source of that feeling of doubt, Oikawa stands by as Suga turns the light on and enters the room. Except for two big suitcases, four sleeping bags, and an awful lot of pillows, the room is empty. 

\- Oikawa, c’mon! Get in! There’s no one else here, see? – says Suga as he takes Oikawa by the hand and drags him in. – You can sit anywhere you want. Though I’d highly recommend the mount of pillows over there. They’re comfy as fuck!

As much as he finds the fact that they have the room to themselves reassuring, Oikawa still can’t shake the feeling of not really wanting any of this, but decides to play it along. Perhaps some sort of sign will come to him, clearing his mind of any doubt. He sits on the floor, leaning his back on the pillows, and watches as Suga takes off his jeans to reveal a pair of white trunks with thin black stripes that, thanks to his drunken accident, have turned mostly transparent. Oikawa can’t help staring at the boy’s crotch. He thinks what a smart decision it was to not take off his contacts before leaving home that night.

\- I’ll be with you in a minute. Just need to clean myself and get some fresh clothes. – says Suga. He walks towards the two suitcases and opens the bigger one. – Hmmm… I guess these don’t belong here anymore. Do you know any junior high kids?

\- Uhm… my nephew is around that age. I think… I’m not sure really. Why?

\- Meh, close enough. I don’t know, maybe these will fit him. Take them.

Before Oikawa is able to ask what is he talking about, Sugawara starts throwing clothes at him. A Doraemon t-shirt, a pair of gray socks, neon blue boxerbriefs, and light green shorts. Oikawa looks at all of them. They sure are small, he thinks.

\- Whose are these?

\- That little shit… - mumbles Sugawara.

\- Eh?

\- Hinata’s…

Upon hearing that name, in a movement that feels almost like a reflex, Oikawa grabs the pair of underwear and shoves it in the right pocket of his jacket. He looks at Sugawara to see if he noticed this and feels relieved to find the boy, turning his back at him, completely invested in the contents of the suitcase. Though he’ll also take the t-shirt with him, once he leaves, just to not raise suspicion. 

\- Did something happen between you and Hinata?

\- Ha! Something happened between Hinata and the whole team but… you know what? I’m not gonna talk about it right now. I’ve wasted too much time on that five foot Hamtaro already.

Oikawa chuckles. He’s not that interested in the quarrels of Karasuno to keep pushing the subject. Meanwhile, Suga is starting to get annoyed searching through the clothes in the suitcase. He can’t seem to find his own and can’t be bothered to look in the other suitcase. Knowing that he’s almost at the bottom of it, he settles for some black pajama bottoms (probably Ennoshita’s) and some red plaid boxers (most likely Tanaka’s). Now he only needs to find some baby wipes to clean himself. 

\- When was the last time you peed your pants? – asks Suga. He finds an almost empty package of baby wipes at the very bottom, next to an unopened pack of cigarettes. – Lucky!

\- Well, I don’t know, a really long time ago? I must’ve been six or seven.

\- That’s great! My last time, besides this one, was two weeks ago. Can you believe it? I was also drunk that time. Which was a good thing cuz when I’m drunk I really don’t care about anything. I just let things happen. It’s a very therapeutic state of mind, you know? Very hakuna-matata.

The underwear comes off and Suga starts cleaning himself. 

\- I don’t think it’s bad to care about stuff… wait, how come your ass is so hairless? – asks Oikawa. 

\- Oh, Daichi helps me wax it. So… You said it’s not bad to care about stuff, right?

\- Yeah.

\- Well, Toru, my friend… may I call you that? Toru?

\- Can I call you Koshi? 

\- Sure! I mean you’ve already seen me pissing myself. That makes us good friends in my opinion.

\- I don’t think so but ok.

\- Rude!

Feeling clean, Sugawara proceeds to put on his teammate’s clothes. As expected, he’s not that comfortable in them but it’s not like he’s willing to do anything about it.

\- Anyway, back to the caring thing… yes, Toru, I agree with you. It’s not bad to care about stuff. In fact, I believe you should care about something just to be able to justify your existence. But there’s also a point where you find yourself caring too much and that’s my biggest problem. I care too fucking much.

\- About what?

\- Everything! I can’t go on a single day without worrying about something. Even stuff that isn’t really my business. I mean… do you know how fucking exhausting that is? Whenever I go to practice and see that Nishinoya has a new bruise from receiving all those balls, I just wanna cry. Even though I know there are nothing more than occupational hazards for him, I still feel like shit. And that’s not okay… you know what I mean though? Or am I just talking nonsense?

\- I’d say… little bit of both? I guess I kind of understand that you care too much on a daily basis. Even for other people.

\- Yes! I care about stuff that even the people who should be concerned about it, aren’t. Like Nishinoya’s bruises. He really doesn’t give a fuck. But I do. And I guess… that’s why drinking is good for me. It makes me not care. Just do shit without overthinking every single step… and it’s great!

\- Is it? Don’t you feel bad about it later? 

\- Well, of course I do. But I always feel bad about something. At least I can find comfort in the fact that I had a good time while I was drunk. Like… feeling bad about it later is a small payment for the awesome time I had during it.

\- Huh… 

\- What?

\- No, nothing. It’s just that I totally get what you mean.

\- You do? Awesome! People are normally so stubborn about it. They tell me that there’s other ways like meditation or breathing… healthy shit like that. But I’m like no, I like alcohol. Meditation might bring me peace and breathing may relax me on the spot, but alcohol not only relaxes me and brings me peace, it allows me to get stuff done. Stuff I wouldn’t normally do. I mean, do you think I would be pouring all my issues on you if I weren’t this drunk? Or more importantly, do you think you’d be here at all?

\- No?

\- Exactly, Toru-chan. If it weren’t for those six shots of that cute blue vodka I had, I wouldn’t have talked to you when we ran into each other on the street. I would’ve just let you go to wherever you where going in the first place. And I guess that’s probably my favorite thing about being drunk, besides not caring, the fact that I have no filter whatsoever. I can say whatever I feel like saying. For example… this is something I would never say while sober, but right now I’m gonna fucking shout it so even the neighbors can hear it. – he takes a deep breath. – I FUCKING HATE KAGEYAMA TOBIO!!!!! 

And there it is, the sign Oikawa has been waiting for. He suddenly realizes that Sugawara isn’t worth the guilty conscious. No one but Tobio is worth it and, in reality; he has never hurt another guy that way, just the boy genius.  
It is all clear now: he should leave.  
But he doesn’t. Because it’s not just the realization that, by his judgment, only Tobio deserves that pain, no, it’s also a feeling that has sprouted from Sugawara’s confession: solidarity. A lot of people hate Kageyama for his arrogant attitude but, knowing that Suga used to be Karasuno’s setter until Tobio came along, Oikawa thinks that the former setter’s hate is rooted on the same soil as his, therefore, they now share a unique bond. That’s why he won’t leave. He’ll stay there with the only person that could hopefully understand the pain.

\- I hate him too, Koshi-chan.


	2. Chapter 2

\- You too, huh? – asks Suga

\- Ever since I became aware of what he was capable of.

\- He surely is an amazing player.

\- No.

\- I’m sorry?

\- Tobio is not an amazing player. He’s a genius.

\- Genius, amazing, whatever… the point is, because of him, I’ll finish my high school volleyball experience the same way I started it: getting to play in official matches… but only sporadically and with the feeling that the rest of team is on the edge because the not-as-good setter is on the court. It’s such a defeating thing. No matter how much better my communication skills are with the rest of the team, or how many new things I try out, he’ll always win over me by pure matters of ability. I mean… you have no idea what that is like.

\- Are you kidding me?!

\- Nope.

\- I may not know what it is like to not have the complete trust of my team while on the court, but I fucking know what’s it like to be aware that no matter what I do, it’s just a matter of time until he surpasses me. And once he does, there’s no way I’ll be able to catch up to him.

\- Yeah but that’s the little difference between you and me, Toru-chan. He still hasn’t surpassed you, whereas he surpassed me from day one.

Oikawa looks down. The imaginary bond he had so excitedly created has been broken. Sugawara doesn’t understand his pain. “But the only reason he didn’t surpass me from day one was because I started practicing, until it hurt, since Ushi…” He can’t finish that thought. Even though it’s true that his effort is the only reason he never found himself in the same spot as Suga, he can’t bring himself to diss the boy’s problem with that thinking. “Maybe Koshi has practiced just as hard as me and I’m just… better. Or maybe he hasn’t, but there’s a reason why he…” Oikawa’s eyes become wide in disbelief. When was the last time he felt compassion for another guy? He can’t remember, but he’s sure that he can count those occasions with the fingers of one hand.

\- Oi, what’s with that look? It’s like…

\- You’re right.

\- Huh? About what?

\- You have a more valid reason to hate Tobio.

\- Hmmm… I don’t think that’s what I meant and, to be honest, I’m not constantly hating on him. After all… he’s helping my team win all those games. I would be lying if I said I wanted him to get injured or something. I mean… it’s not his fault that he’s so good.

That last thing hurts Oikawa. It’s the same line his guilty conscious has been repeating, like a mantra, since the end of that awful Golden Week where he submitted Kageyama through… “So much undeserved pain.” He feels tears forming in his eyes.

\- Koshi-chan, you… you’re – his voice breaks. – You’re such a good…

\- Ew, no. Seriously? Are you crying? – he walks to Oikawa.

\- I… can’t help it… you… it’s not fair… you deserve better…

\- No! Oh, please stop! No, no, no, no. No, damn it! – he sits on Oikawa’s legs. – I’ve already had the “you deserve better” speech given to me today. With tears too! 

\- But it’s true! – his left cheek starts trembling. – You deserve…

\- I deserve a kick in the dick and nothing more! Listen, Toru-chan, I didn’t bring you here to have feelings. I brought you here because of this. – he lifts Oikawa’s t-shirt up to his nipples. – Wow, it’s even better than I imagined! So toned…

\- What… are you…

\- What? Are you gonna get all morally correct now? Don’t you think I noticed how hard you were staring at my body on our way here? You practically raped me with your eyes!

\- Don’t… don’t say that. – he stops crying and wipes the tears off his face. 

\- No, it’s ok. I want you to be that horny.

\- Why? – he tries to cover himself but Suga stops him.

\- Because that way I know you want to do things to me. 

\- And what if I don’t wanna do anything with you anymore?

\- Then I’ll do anything to make you want it. Seriously… anything! Even the most perverted thing, just say it and I’ll do it.

\- But why? 

Sugawara sighs. Revealing his motives wasn’t something he had planned to do. He wonders why tonight men aren’t acting like they do on TV. They’re supposed to rush towards an offering like that… so why has he had to deal with crying men twice in the same night? “That’s just disappointing”, he thinks.

\- Because… as romantic as it sounds, I want you to do me in a way that has me feeling so much pleasure it becomes unbearable. C’mon! I know you can do that!

\- That’s not romantic at all and… the fuck do you know? Get off already! – he tries to push Sugawara off but fails.

\- I would love to get off but I need your help. Please, Toru-chan! I’m with a guy that makes sex feel like a chore! He won’t even go as far as to try a new position! So I beg of you, - he starts fondling Oikawa’s crotch. – get hard and fuck me!

The feeling of being nothing more than a human dildo wasn’t new to Oikawa. He had been objectified before, but even then, he had managed to get something out of the experience too. He wonders, as Suga tries his best to jerk off his penis over the clothes, what could he possibly get out of this. Granted, he has already obtained Hinata’s underwear, which would be a fantastic, and very rare, addition to his collection. But, most likely, they weren’t even used and he wouldn’t just grant Sugawara’s request for one pair of underwear. Five would be a more considerable number but, despite the high possibility that he could obtain such amount just by searching through those suitcases, Oikawa fears that that would be too suspicious. His fetishes are a matter concerning him and Iwa-chan… sometimes. So why not just leave now? He can’t possibly take Sugawara’s offer of submitting to his most perverted desires, that’s way too personal for someone who’s demanding such impersonal fucking. Though he still feels some compassion for him, which makes him want to just say yes to everything and fuck Suga like he wants to be fucked… “Wait, how does he know I’m good at this? I could be worse than that guy he’s complaining about. Why all this trouble for me?”

\- Cut it out. – says Oikawa as he grabs Suga by the wrists to keep both of his hands away. – I’m not that animal; you can’t just get me hard like that. Also… why did you say you know?

\- What?

\- You said you know I can do you in a way that has you feeling so much pleasure it becomes unbearable. How can you know such thing?

\- Oh, that was just me being horny. I mean, look at you with those muscles and that manly… - Oikawa tightens his grip. – Aaaaaah, ok, ok, Nishinoya told me!

\- What did he tell you?

\- Everything! Aaarghh! That hurts, stop!

\- What’s everything?

\- Everything! How you meet, what you do, how it feels! Seriously, it hurts! Let go! Let go!

Oikawa releases him. This new information is not helpful. It’s true that he feels a kind of comfort in knowing that Suga is looking for something only he can provide. But that something, which is the promise of a pleasure so strong it becomes unbearable, can’t be provided because it comes from a, rather stupid, hope that has been fed by Nishinoya’s retellings of their sex encounters. Maybe the tiny libero didn’t pick up on it, but Oikawa was always treating him like a sex toy. He was bound and gagged throughout it all, and every way in which Oikawa used his body came from a place of utter self-indulgence. He can’t treat Sugawara like that. Not when he’s that drunk. Oikawa’s conscious won’t put up with it. There’s also the fact that he was pretty rough on Nishinoya, and if Suga’s pleas to be released along with the sad child-like expression he bares as he massages his wrists tell Oikawa anything, is that this boy doesn’t like it rough.  
Still Oikawa wants to do something for him. Getting screwed over by Kageyama is bad enough, but having such bad sex that makes you beg to someone else for it is just sad. “Fuck it… I can’t help feeling sorry for the guy.”

\- How are the wrists? 

\- They’re better now. – says Suga in a defeated tone.

\- Wow… are you the same guy who bragged about not deserving anything but a kick in the dick? 

\- I don’t know… are you the same guy who cried for like three seconds because I deserve “soooo much better”?

\- Well… you do.

\- Is that why you nearly broke my hand? 

\- Uhm… I mean… that’s an exaggeration.

\- You think? Though I guess I should take it as a sign that you’re getting close to me.

\- Huh?

\- People are the cruelest to the ones they’re the closest to.

\- Woo… where did that come from?

\- Life.

\- I was not even being cruel. That’s just how I treat most guys.

\- So I’m just like most guys to you?

\- Yeah… I mean, kinda. I don’t know, this is like the longest we’ve talked to each other. 

\- But didn’t you say I deserve better?

\- You do!

\- Then why did you almost broke my hand?!

\- That’s an exa… ok, what the fuck?!

Sugawara laughs out loud.

\- I just have the feeling that you’re not gonna give me what I want and then you’ll probably leave… but I wanna sit on your legs for a little longer, you know? They’re so thick and warm. So I was trying to waste your time.

\- Yeah, stop that. Also… that’s partially true.

\- What thing? I said a lot of shit. Well, maybe not much but like compar…

\- The part where I don’t give you what you want!

\- Hmmm… so you won’t fuck me but you’ll what? Make love to me?

\- Uhm, no. We haven’t reached that level of intimacy.

\- But we could. You just have to let me in, Toru-chan.

\- Stop. Also… let’s drop the chan already, we’re not little kids.

\- Ok, Toru-kun. Now, if you’re not going to fuck me or make love to me, does that mean I’ll be fucking you? Cuz I’ll be totally up for that, even though I’ve never top before.

\- Really?

\- Yeap.

\- Hmmm… well I can’t help you with that. I don’t like being a bottom.

\- Oh, c’mon so what do you mean by partially true?

\- I mean that I won’t fuck you, or make love to you, or whatever… but I’ll make you feel good.

\- That’s pretty vague… are you gonna counsel me on my life or something? 

\- Just shut up, please.

With that, Oikawa pulls Suga closer to him, planting a kiss at the base of his neck. He works his way up in kisses. Suga feels his body tensing with each kiss until the last one, just behind the ear, sends a tingling sensation that makes him take a deep breath and his body shiver. A small bite to his earlobe and then the tickling moistness of a whisper, saying:

\- Do as you’re told and I’ll make you feel good.


End file.
